|
Wayne's Dining Review >
How I Accidentally Became a Food Critic (Kinda)
How I Accidentally Became a Food Critic (Kinda)
Page:
1
Jami Mays
Guest
Jul 21, 2025
12:56 AM
|
Okay so… I never planned to be that person who starts talking about “mouthfeel” and “flavor profiles” while everyone else is just tryna eat in peace. But here we are. Somehow, somewhere between midterm all-nighters and cheap instant noodles, I turned into the kind of guy who actually reviews restaurants in my Notes app like I am gonna publish it or something (spoiler: I do not).
It all kinda started during my second year at uni. I had this creative writing prof who was obsessed with food essays. Like, we spent a whole week on garlic alone. At first I was like, “ma’am, I am just trying to pass this class,” but turns out writing about food? Lowkey addictive. Plus, I needed something better to write about than the 3 a.m. ramen I eat four nights a week. So I started going out more, trying new places mostly local joints around campus and jotting down thoughts.
One night, my roommate and I hit up this tiny Ethiopian place near downtown. No sign, just a glowing “open” light and some banging music coming from inside. We ordered whatever the lady behind the counter recommended and ended up with this massive platter of injera and like... ten things I could not pronounce. It was freaking incredible. Tangy, spicy, full of textures I’d never had before. That night I went home, wrote this long, messy rave in my notebook, and titled it: My Tongue Went to Church. Not even kidding.
Anyway, that turned into a habit. Every time I found a new spot, I’d write about it. Sometimes just a paragraph, sometimes a full-on essay. And yeah, at some point I realized I was playing around with all the types of essay writing without even trying. Like, sometimes it is narrative telling a story about the people I met at this weird diner at 2 a.m. Other times it is more descriptive, like trying to explain how the garlic sauce at that Lebanese food truck is actual sorcery. I even went full argumentative once, defending my theory that breakfast burritos are objectively superior to pancakes. (Don’t come at me. I have facts.)
Honestly, writing about food is one of those things that kinda snuck up on me. I didn’t think it was a legit genre at first, not the way we talked about essays in school. You know how teachers always break it down into the “types of essays” like expository, persuasive, narrative, blah blah? Turns out, food writing hits like half of them at once. Which is kinda cool. Makes me feel like I am learning something even when I'm just rambling about tacos.
And speaking of tacos, can we talk about how every city insists they have the best ones? I’ve had at least four different friends in four different places swear their favorite taco truck is life-changing. One made me walk 25 minutes in the rain to prove it. Worth it. But also… now I’ve become the person who’s like “Yeah but have you really tried the carnitas from that truck next to the tire shop on 8th?” I’m unbearable.
Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is: you don’t have to be some bougie food influencer or Michelin-star chaser to get into this stuff. Start small. Like, seriously some of my favorite stories came from hole-in-the-wall pizza places where the cheese is kinda too greasy and the guy behind the counter calls everyone “boss.” That’s real. That’s the kinda stuff I love writing about.
And honestly? It’s not even about the food all the time. It's the vibe. The random conversations you overhear. The weird menu typos (“shrimp friend rice,” I’m looking at you). The fact that one time I got proposed to (as a joke?) by an old man at a deli in Queens after I complimented his soup choice. I’m not even mad.
So yeah, next time you’re out eating something that makes you pause for a sec and go “damn,” write it down. Or don’t. But if you do, don’t worry about being all formal and academic. Just write like you talk. Rant. Rave. Describe how the sauce made you feel something in your soul. Who cares if it fits into one of the “different type of essays” your high school teacher drilled into your head. If it’s honest and kinda messy and makes someone hungry? You nailed it.
Also side note if you are in the area and haven’t tried the Thai place next to the laundromat on West Main... go. Immediately. Order the green curry. Trust me.
|
Post a Message
| |
|
|
| |
| |
| CLICK ON BANNERS TO VISIT EACH ONLINE MAGAZINE - SOME ARE IN THE CONSTRUCTION PHASE AND WILL BE ONLINE SOON |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| |
| |
|
|
| |
| © Copyright 2016 All Photos by Ed and Wayne from The Long Island Web / Website Designed and Managed by Clubhouse2000 |
| |
|
* The Long Island Network is an online resource for events, information, opinionated material, and links to the content of other websites and social media and cannot be held responsible for their content in any way, but will attempt to monitor content not suitable for our visitors. Some content may not be suitable for children without supervision from an adult. Mature visitors are more than welcome. Articles by the Editor will be opinions from an independent voice who believes the U.S. Constitution is our sacred document that insures our Inalienable Rights to Liberty and Freedom.
|
| |
| Disclaimer: The Advertisers and Resources found on this website may or may not agree with the political views of the editor and should not be held responsible for the views of The Long Island Network or its affiliates. The Long Island Network was created to promote, advertise, and market all businesses in the Long Island Network regardless of their political affiliation. |
| |
| |
| |
| Accessibility |
| |
|
|
|
|
